


Words In Your Heart

by OliviaAdams



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF, Sebastian Stan Fandom
Genre: #marvel one shot, #one shot, #sebastian stan one shot, Angst, Celebrity Smut, F/M, Fluff, Marvel RPF - Freeform, POV Female Character, RPF, Real person fanfiction - Freeform, Sebastian Stan Angst, Sebastian Stan Fluff, Sebastian Stan smut, Smut, celebrity fic, real person fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-01
Updated: 2016-09-01
Packaged: 2018-08-12 08:37:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7928077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OliviaAdams/pseuds/OliviaAdams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspirational Quote: One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can’t utter. – James Earl Jones</p><p>Non Archive Warnings: smut, unprotected sex, angst, fluff.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Words In Your Heart

            Everything about the cabin was rustically beautiful. The wooded location, the furnishings, the bed linens. The group of friends that we had arranged couldn’t be beat. Though some of us did not know each other, approachability and outgoingness were traits we all proudly possessed. Friendships quickly formed during the scenic drive up, culminating in all carpools arriving within minutes of each other. Cars were unloaded and an amazing dinner was cooked, eaten and cleaned up with friendly efficiency. The comfort and ease of good conversation and even better wine, lulled everyone to an easy sleep. The beds were exquisitely comfortable and perfectly warm.

            Yet, here I was, wide awake. Insomnia was threatening to put a damper on this beautiful weekend with friends. I decided that if I must be awake, then I would not be awake in the dark, alone. I tip toed through the cabin, arms full of blankets and quilts. Finding no one else awake, I made tea, careful to catch the kettle before its whistle would wake anyone from their well-earned slumber.

            The deck was covered, sheltering the patio furniture from the snow that had begun to fall. I arranged my blankets and quilts to keep warm and held my cup of tea between both hands, breathing in the warm steam.

 _At least this is better than tossing in turning in bed._ I became lost in my thoughts, staring into the dark, eventually draining my cup of every last drop of tea.  
  
            “May I?” The low voice startled me back to reality. I looked up to see Sebastian holding two steaming mugs, motioning to the wooden chaise lounge next to mine.  
  
            “Of course.” I smiled at him, happy to have company yet concerned that the peace of the night would be broken.  
  
            “I brought you a refill.” He placed a mug of tea on the arm of my chair, before removing my empty one to place on the deck. “I saw the honey out, so I assumed?”  
  
            “Yes. Thank you!” I crept a hand out of my bundle of blankets, grasped the shockingly warm mug and took a test sip. Perfectly sweetened, the tea warmed my chest and I sighed. “It’s perfect.”  
  
            “Good.” He smiled broadly, looked forward inhaling deeply through his nose and settled into his own chair. Crossing his feet, his unlaced boots threatening to topple off. I took note of his attire. Thick loose sweatpants draped over his well-muscled legs. A hoodie layered under his wool pea coat was topped with a scarf, looped infinitely around his neck. His legs would be cold soon. I huddled down into my nest of blankets, content with my own layers of clothing.

            “Couldn’t sleep?” He asked, his eyes lost in the snowflakes falling slowly.

            “No,” I shook my head and blew the steam off my tea.

            “Me neither. I’m glad I found you out here, though.” His soft smile gave way to a furrowed brow and sad eyes. The pained look softened my heart. My mind tip toed around thoughts of what could cause his insomnia. I didn’t know him, in truth. I only knew his films and television characters. Meeting him on this group trip was a surprise. Happily, his easy laughter and kind heart fit right into the collection of friends.  
  
            The snow continued to fall, creating narrow piles on the deck railing. The entire world seemed blanketed in white, muffling all sound. The snow softened night nearly pleaded for our silence. Not once did I think to be the one to pierce the lack of sound. I simply eyed Sebastian from my chair, catching him in contemplation or occasionally smiling at me.  
  
            I was lost in my thoughts when Sebastian silently collected our empty cups and disappeared into the house. I shivered for the first time that night, beginning to regret our lack of conversation. It had been so calm, so peaceful, I didn’t want to break the spell. I burrowed further into my blankets, contemplating the warmth inside the cabin.  
  
            Sebastian appeared again with an arm full of blankets. Our eyes found each other’s and he shrugged bashfully, before shaking out a blanket and putting it over me. He laid another out for himself and settled back into his chair, tossing the length of a final blanket over his body.  
  
            “This is amazing.” He smiled into the dark beyond the railing. “Truly peaceful.”

            “Mmmmm,” I hummed in reply, following his gaze. The glow from the cabin windows set a soft light on the quiet world laid out in front of us. Tall trees were sparse past the timber deck, growing denser as the yard gave way to the forest beyond. Pinecones littered the lawn, fading to white with each passing moment. Tiny rabbit foot prints carved a trail from one tree to another, filling with fresh powder, slowly concealing the by gone bunny’s adventure.

            An owl abruptly took flight, screeching into the night. I startled, flailing my arms in fear. Giggles bubbled up from the both of us, quickly turning into full boisterous laughter. I settled back into my blankets and turned my face towards Sebastian. He turned his full body towards mine and propped his head on his bent arm. I mimicked his movements, still giggling.  
  
            “So much for peaceful.” His smile was wide, his breath coming out in large white clouds. I nodded in agreement, still full of amusement.

            Conversation overflowed our chairs, finding Sebastian joining my nest of blankets at first. Later, I pulled my blankets into his chair, arranging them around us as we sat face to face. Resting cross legged on the chair, we played an endless game of slap jack. Hours had passed, seeming like minutes. The collective snowfall now mounded on the deck railing.

            Our laughter rippled through the snow covered yard. No one was winning at the game, our cheerful delirium leaving no room for precision. Laughter eased into breathless sighs. Sebastian gripped my hands suddenly and pulled me forward, forcing me onto my knees, stopping my face just short of his. My breathing came heavy and quick, my stomach a flight with butterflies, my skin burning with desire.

            Sebastian’s eyes searched mine in request, flicking back and forth and down to my anxious mouth. His lips came to mine soft and unsure, slowly gaining confidence with each passing second. I pushed into him, deepening our kiss, tugging at my hands. I needed them free, I needed my hands to cup his face, to run my hands through his hair, to touch him. He held my hands tight between us, releasing one of his own to lace through the hair at my neck. Both of my hands in one of his, he pulled me further to him. Our bodies tumbled to the chair, leaving us lying on our sides, facing each other.

            Sebastian traced the line of my jaw with the backs of his fingers, his smile ceasing only when he moved to kiss me. Our kisses turned feverish and he took to my neck, breathing warm air on to each damp shadow left by his mouth and tongue. My body took over, my mind betraying me and I moaned at his touch. He slid his hand up under my shirt, splaying across my belly. My hips rolled into his, pressing to the hardness building in his pants, and he gripped my hip, pressing his fingers into my skin, pulling me against him rhythmically. Sebastian’s hands started to explore, thumbing my nipples, kneading my breasts, slipping slowly between my waistband and hips, moving back and forth, teasing, moving south agonizingly slow.

            Our hands worked each other, our hips bucking and rolling to maintain contact. Breathing hitched and sighed, moaned and whimpered. Sebastian pulled his knee further up, spreading my legs to him. I eagerly obeyed, sliding my leg up and over his hip. Coats still on, our other clothing seemed to strip itself away from our bodies. Our pants now lost in the tangle of blankets, Sebastian’s shirt hiked to give access to my wandering hands, my sweater open, revealing my naked breasts. Sebastian’s warm hands and mouth kneaded and sucked, never once letting my chest feel the chill of the winter night.

            He pressed against me, rocking rhythmically, humming into my ear. His length teased, edging back and forth across my folds. Sebastian seemed content there, but content was no longer something I was after. I angled my hips and aided with my free hand, guiding and greedily pulling him into me. I gasped at his girth and sighed as his length moved deeper and deeper, shuddering in complete ecstasy as he filled me. Sebastian exhaled a groan, gripping my ass, his fingertips digging into my flesh.

            Grinding our hips in unison, our foreheads pressed together, his body undulated against mine. He thrust in and out of me, trembling in the frenzy of sensation, my body meeting his every move. Mouths frozen open, panting, hovering just beyond a kiss. His hand gripped the side of my face as he moaned into a kiss. I lost myself, coming completely undone by his sounds. His release immediately followed mine, growling my name into my neck. Our bodies curled around each other’s, stilled by relief, spasms trickling through us.

            I opened my eyes slowly, smiling at the snowflakes in Sebastian’s eyelashes. On our sides, Sebastian still somehow towered over me. He smiled down at me, gently cupped my face and pulled me into a deep, slow, sated kiss. His audible sigh spoke the words neither of us possessed.  


…  
             

            It had been a long weekend. A very long weekend, with little to no interaction in the view of our friends. The sight of his beautiful face tortured my soul. Laughter covered our broken spirits. Our stolen looks were held too long, at the risk of being found out. The smiles turned shyly away. Bodies bumped purposefully in passing, only to uphold the unspoken rules.

 

            The weekend was made even longer by friends, both old and new, encouraging an event that they didn’t know had already occurred. They couldn’t have known, yet it seemed that the collective goal of the group was to push us together in a shameful act of carefree sexuality. Wasn’t that what had happened anyway? _Was_ it carefree? Was it something more? It felt like something much more, but we didn’t dare explore the option of _more_ under the scrutiny of our peers. Only stealing away in the night.

 

            How could they have known that Sebastian followed me to my room that first night, only to sneak back to his own as the sun rose? They couldn’t have known that I snuck into Sebastian’s room the very next night, greeted by Sebastian’s smile as he held his covers open to me. That I spent that entire night sleeping peacefully wrapped in his arms, creeping back to my own room at the sound of someone showering. They had no idea that Sebastian tip toed to my room last night, sneaking in, waking me by trailing kisses from my ankles as he climbed through the blankets from the foot of the bed, kissing every inch of me, up to my lips. That tears filled both our eyes as the birds started chirping that morning and he slowly backed out of my room, pausing at the door with his head resting on the frame, staring for just a moment longer.

 

            The drive down the mountain was torture, seated behind him. Gripping the steering wheel he eyed me fiercely in the rear view mirror for nearly the entire three hour drive. The teasing continued as we all separated into our own cars. My girlfriends were baffled by me not asking for Sebastian’s phone number, “at the very least”. They had no idea.

  
            He exited the vehicle so abruptly that everyone nearby was startled. His focused eyes and long strides towards me garnered worried stares. No one spoke a word. Silence hung in the air like fog as our friends followed his movements with only their eyes.  


            He wrapped his arms around my shoulders, cheek pressed to my hair. I breathed in his scent, the smell of cedar and soap mingled with peppermint. I turned my face away from his and settled where his shoulder met his chest. My sight unfocused, my mind bewildered, I knew I wasn’t hiding my thoughts with my expression. One hand on my back and one hand pressed to my head, he pulled me into the depths of his anguish. My arms slid along his sides and up his back, coming to rest on his shoulder blades. His body warmed mine, a stark contrast to the chilly air outside. I melted, collapsing into the heat of his chest. Relief sizzled through me, escaping at his every touch. His arms caged mine, pinning them down, while he nestled his face into my neck, inhaling deeply.      


            "I've wanted to touch you the entire weekend. To kiss you. To hold you. To tell you… in front of everyone. I don’t know why I tried to hide the words in my heart.” He whispered the words, his voice catching on emotion, squeezing me tighter to him. “I'm never letting go. Ever."


End file.
